My Morning in McKinney

Today I completed the Stonebridge Sprint. It was a sprint for goodness sake. In my triathlon career I have done many many sprints. Too many to count. Why was this one different?

This was only the third race I have done this year, and really the first that I don't mind talking about.

Race #1 was the half Ironman at LoneStar in Galveston. Really, the only highlight of my day on that HOT, CLOUDLESS Sunday was finishing without puking. 1:06 in the water....for a half Ironman...are you freakin kidding me? OK bike, and the death march run. There was not enough aloe cream in all of Galveston to help the sunburn pain go away. Never before in the 5+ years I have been racing, have I so questioned why I do this. The race itself could not have been run better, it was my personal demons that reared their ugly heads.

Then, Memorial Day comes and the "incident" at the Honey Tour. Be careful of what you wish for because for someone who questioned whether they wanted to continue to race, I was sure pissed that I couldn't. For the first time ever, I watched a triathlon from the sidelines while Steve raced at Metroplex. I crutched from the swim to the bike to the run wishing I could be out there.

Once I got the clearance to "run", I immediately signed up for the Take on the Heat tri. My big comeback! Standing in line at the swim start, I really felt like I had never done this before. Swim was OK. Although I had not spent a lot of time in the water, I was not nervous about a pool swim. The bike was OK until I popped a spoke at mile 4 and spent the rest of the ride convinced that at any time my rear wheel was going to implode. The run was more of a stroll through the neighborhoods of The Colony.

So I decided to register for Stonebridge. A 750 meter open water swim, 12 mile bike and 5K run. I am well removed from the broken leg. I have been running pretty consistently. biking occasionally and well. I know where the pool is :)

I finally feel like I have a performance worthy of a race report!

Swim -
750 meter swim - 21:05
Really did not feel this long in the water but I am not sure where the timing mat was. The thing about the venue is that the run from swim out to the transition area was LONG. Like for a second I though that a triathlon was swim/run/T1/bike...etc. Getting in to the water was actually great since the water was warmer than the air. The gun went off and I swam. Not fast, but comfortable. Sighting was spot on. (I may not be fast, but I am accurate). Didn't really get a chance to draft, but when some chick started to swim into me I did not do my normal ease up and let them go. Instead I kept my line and swam straight over her! I am such a rebel ;). Only issue was coming out of the water, when I stood up, I cut my big toe on a rock or something. I knew it hurt, but what are you going to do?

T1-
3:52. Up the boat ramp, down a rather large grassy hill, over the river and through the woods...you get the picture!. The hill, BTW, was very wet, very muddy and very slippery. Then around and through the tennis courts until I FINALLY made it into the transition area. The problem was, this was a completely different way into transition and I was totally lost. Had to have a volunteer point me to my rack. Classic rookie mistake. Helmet, shoes and glasses on, it's time to ride!

Bike
12 miles - 43:27
I like to ride! I was happy with a 16.6 average, especially with the winds blowing from the North at about 20. It was a 2-loop square course. The good thing about the winds were that they helped up Ridge which is about 3 miles slightly uphill and although I had it in my face on the 3 mile stretch on Stonebridge, it is mostly slightly downhill so it dd not totally suck. Bike preformed great and overall just had a good ride. Passed a TON of people. Got out of my shoes and executed a fairly decent flying dismount. It was then I realized my toe had bleed into my bike shoe.

T2-
1:43. I may not be the fastest at any of the 3 "real" disciplines, but I have the 4th mastered. Bike racked, helmet off, socks (yes socks), shoes on. Grab hat and race belt and hit it. No screwing around in transition.

Run -
3.1 miles - 36.05
I know, not speedy but for me, this was a huge confidence booster. This was the first time since Memorial Day that I ran an entire 5K. All my runs up to this point were a run/walk combo. OK, I did walk the aid station but only because running while I try to drink makes me choke. Plus I wanted to get a GU gel down. So, other than that, I ran and was very happy with my final 11:34 a mile pace. Mostly, I was happy that I had no leg pain (although the toe was not happy). At the end, I actually felt like I had some left in the tank. For the first time EVER, I sprinted past some guy in the finishing chute! I never do that! I didn't place as they grouped all Athena's together and there were some stupid fast "larger statured" ladies out there. But if they did separate it out, I was the second fastest "old fat chick out there!

(the guy in the black just got "chicked" by yours truly)

Look, I know I will never be fast. Shit, I'm 46, 15 pounds heavier than I want to be, and really, just want to enjoy the experience of being out there with my friends and doing my best. What more could I ask of a chilly, windy Sunday in McKinney, Texas?

(trying to keep warm pre-race with Andy and Shannon Watson)

"Yeah, life throws you curves, but you've learned to swerve..."

Time: Workouts, Work, and Personal.

How much do I have? I don't know, let's take a look at the list.

From this moment, I have:

29 days until terminal leave (vacation until discharge).

58 days until Honorable Discharge.

104 days until end of 2010.

245 days until Ironman Texas.

In the next 29 or so days, I have to pack up my life for the 3rd time in less than a year and go somewhere...the unknown. Again. It would be great for my mental status if I had a job lined up before the end of these 29 days. It would also help if I knew what city I wanted to live in. That might be important. Up until now, my only requirement was "back to Texas." I can find a good school in any of the big cities, unfortunately even El Paso. I am focusing on one or two cities and hoping for the best. Imagine a dart board, and me shooting blind. Why the heck not? I do know where I'm leaning towards and am finding opportunities there (so not really shooting blind, but I wanted to type that anyway), so that is keeping me somewhat at peace right now.

If I don't have a city, school or job lined up, I essentially have 58 days to decide. I don't like giving myself this cushion as it can breed laziness, but I think I'm just too freaking scared to let that happen. Financially I'd be OK until at least the end of the year if not longer, but mentally I am not OK with that. I need to hit the ground running a couple weeks after I leave DC or I'll be lost in a post-military & deployment rabbit hole that isn't good for returning Veterans. Must. Be. Productive. Can't. Get. Lost.

Why is the end of 2010 important? Well, it's a silly personal thing to do at least one marathon each year. I've done it since my first in 2004 and am amazed I kept it up each year while I was in the Army. This year I was supposed to run the Boston & Colorado marathons in Iraq (official shadow races) in April & May, but my femur fracture took me out of those. So now, I have 104 days to be able to walk 26.2 miles. I don't care what my time is, as I did the Goofy Challenge in 2006 injured. I had only run 3 miles in Dec. and 10 in Nov. prior to the race and my knees wouldn't bend by the halfway mark of the marathon! I couldn't do a race right now, but I am up to walking over a solid hour with the dog, so I'm optimistic I can continue my streak for this year. I'm shooting for a mid-late Nov. race. If it doesn't happen, that leaves me a cushion to find a December race. It will hurt, my feet will hate me, no one likes walking a marathon in 6-7 hours, but I *need* to do this for me. Marathon #15 here I come!

Bad knees!

245 days.

Ironman Texas: Oh boy, where do I start? How about my injury? That sounds good.

I had one of my final Ortho appointments yesterday. It didn't go well, but it wasn't terrible either. It boils down to: time. I need more of it. I was told in the spring that it can take 9-12 months to feel fully "healed." I'll be dealing with musculoskeletal issues for about a year. My fracture has been healed for a while now, but my ilioposoas muscle, bursa and other connective tissues are "really jacked up". That's a technical term, look it up (anatomy lesson below). Any normal person without athletic goals wouldn't have much of a problem with the point I am at right now. I can get through most days now without needing a nap due to exhaustion from the pain. This is a HUGE step forward. So is being able to walk the dog for an hour around the neighborhood and go about daily activities like errands. Unfortunately, this doesn't leave me hopeful for any kind of strong training for IM TX. I *know* (telling myself as I'm beating my head against a wall) that I can get through the race with minimal training. I can bike until the point of flare-ups, swim my heart out (easy since I'm pretty decent at it with no training) and not run. My CrossFit plan is probably out the window since I still can't do lower body exercises. So...my adjusted plan will be to ride the hell out of my bike, swim a lot, and when I can "run" do a couple of runs a week, probably under 5 miles. Obviously that can change in the spring if I get better, but I'm not going to risk any flare-ups that will hinder bike training. If I can bike strong, I can walk the marathon. I'm not upset by this, as there is nothing I can do at this point. I have done everything to promote healing and have been monitored by my team of professionals.

Both sides of this graphic will be helpful to explain where I am having issues at this point. My fracture originated in the lesser trochanter area of the femoral neck (left side of the picture). It is officially diagnosed as a "femoral neck compression fracture." Had it been a tension fracture on the upper, outer part of the femur, I would have required immediate surgery. Thankfully, I caught it before it spread. Anyway, back to now. I am having pain and mobility issues in the area psoas major muscle with pain shooting up almost to my stomach at some points. My range of motion is severely hindered due to the muscular damage and some issues that we can't pinpoint exactly, with the iliopectineal bursa and iliofemoral ligament of the joint (see right side).

So what does this mean? Well, it means that it is sometimes just about impossible to lift my left leg first to go up stairs, sit for long periods of time, stand for long periods of time and I can't move my leg "out" for adduction exercises.

In summary, I cannot describe how stressed I've been with worrying about where to move, where to finish school, and trying to just make progress with my leg to allow me to start some kind of training. I feel lost without my outlet, my love, of running. It is unbelievably difficult to separate from the military (endless meetings, paperwork, appointments) and mentally exhausting. To the point of making myself sick and not eating. Thankfully, as hard as it is to admit and lean on them, I have a great support system of people who will see me just to listen to me cry over breakfast or the phone since I can't figure it all out.

In the meantime, walking it is! Head up Solider.

August/September: Haley

I've put off a new blog entry because I feel there isn't much to write about. My recovery is slow going at best and I just try to fill my days with things to do, while getting enough rest.

Throughout August and now through September, my main job & responsibility is to go to Physical Therapy 3x/wk at Bethesda Naval hospital. Most days are very frustrating and painful, but every day I look back to where I was in April-June when I couldn't walk at all. I've come a long way since the initial injury in March, and I can walk casually (not speed walking) for over an hour now. I distinctly remember the day where I wanted to cry walking 250 meters. I was at my favorite park and couldn't make it to my mental distance marker, the bridge.

In the meantime, I have acquired yet another bike (really guys, this is getting out of hand). I bought a cyclocross bike with the idea of doing a long distance bike touring trip or two this fall. The first one was supposed to be over Labor Day weekend, but the Perfect Storm of events prevented that from happening. Instead, I've been using it to reacquaint myself to two wheels. My handling has improved, I'm not nervous anymore like I was at the beginning of August and I'm really enjoying it! I can't wait to start riding my tri bike when my hip allows me. Right now it's a flexibility and positioning issue as the aero position of a tri bike isn't really possible at this moment. That's ok, I'll get there.

CrossFit is back into my normal routine. I usually hit 3-4 classes a week where they customize workouts to my ability. All the upper body focus has torn up my hands, arms and shoulders, but it's better than nothing and it's very fun. All the wounds are worth it!

I made more of an effort to swim as well. Not as often as I like (probably because of all the CrossFit), but I've also been taking this time to do fun 'life' things. A camping trip, a trip to visit friends and waterski...oh yeah...should I be waterskiing?...and miscellany.

There aren't many "goals" I can list for September. I want to continue what I'm doing to get back to being a person that can go outside and walk or ride a bike. I'd have to say I'd like to walk 5 miles with minimal discomfort, but that might not be possible yet. I'm getting there. Slowly.