Time: Workouts, Work, and Personal.
How much do I have? I don't know, let's take a look at the list.
From this moment, I have:
29 days until terminal leave (vacation until discharge).
58 days until Honorable Discharge.
104 days until end of 2010.
245 days until Ironman Texas.
In the next 29 or so days, I have to pack up my life for the 3rd time in less than a year and go somewhere...the unknown. Again. It would be great for my mental status if I had a job lined up before the end of these 29 days. It would also help if I knew what city I wanted to live in. That might be important. Up until now, my only requirement was "back to Texas." I can find a good school in any of the big cities, unfortunately even El Paso. I am focusing on one or two cities and hoping for the best. Imagine a dart board, and me shooting blind. Why the heck not? I do know where I'm leaning towards and am finding opportunities there (so not really shooting blind, but I wanted to type that anyway), so that is keeping me somewhat at peace right now.
If I don't have a city, school or job lined up, I essentially have 58 days to decide. I don't like giving myself this cushion as it can breed laziness, but I think I'm just too freaking scared to let that happen. Financially I'd be OK until at least the end of the year if not longer, but mentally I am not OK with that. I need to hit the ground running a couple weeks after I leave DC or I'll be lost in a post-military & deployment rabbit hole that isn't good for returning Veterans. Must. Be. Productive. Can't. Get. Lost.
Why is the end of 2010 important? Well, it's a silly personal thing to do at least one marathon each year. I've done it since my first in 2004 and am amazed I kept it up each year while I was in the Army. This year I was supposed to run the Boston & Colorado marathons in Iraq (official shadow races) in April & May, but my femur fracture took me out of those. So now, I have 104 days to be able to walk 26.2 miles. I don't care what my time is, as I did the Goofy Challenge in 2006 injured. I had only run 3 miles in Dec. and 10 in Nov. prior to the race and my knees wouldn't bend by the halfway mark of the marathon! I couldn't do a race right now, but I am up to walking over a solid hour with the dog, so I'm optimistic I can continue my streak for this year. I'm shooting for a mid-late Nov. race. If it doesn't happen, that leaves me a cushion to find a December race. It will hurt, my feet will hate me, no one likes walking a marathon in 6-7 hours, but I *need* to do this for me. Marathon #15 here I come!
Bad knees!
245 days.
Ironman Texas: Oh boy, where do I start? How about my injury? That sounds good.
I had one of my final Ortho appointments yesterday. It didn't go well, but it wasn't terrible either. It boils down to: time. I need more of it. I was told in the spring that it can take 9-12 months to feel fully "healed." I'll be dealing with musculoskeletal issues for about a year. My fracture has been healed for a while now, but my ilioposoas muscle, bursa and other connective tissues are "really jacked up". That's a technical term, look it up (anatomy lesson below). Any normal person without athletic goals wouldn't have much of a problem with the point I am at right now. I can get through most days now without needing a nap due to exhaustion from the pain. This is a HUGE step forward. So is being able to walk the dog for an hour around the neighborhood and go about daily activities like errands. Unfortunately, this doesn't leave me hopeful for any kind of strong training for IM TX. I *know* (telling myself as I'm beating my head against a wall) that I can get through the race with minimal training. I can bike until the point of flare-ups, swim my heart out (easy since I'm pretty decent at it with no training) and not run. My CrossFit plan is probably out the window since I still can't do lower body exercises. So...my adjusted plan will be to ride the hell out of my bike, swim a lot, and when I can "run" do a couple of runs a week, probably under 5 miles. Obviously that can change in the spring if I get better, but I'm not going to risk any flare-ups that will hinder bike training. If I can bike strong, I can walk the marathon. I'm not upset by this, as there is nothing I can do at this point. I have done everything to promote healing and have been monitored by my team of professionals.
Both sides of this graphic will be helpful to explain where I am having issues at this point. My fracture originated in the lesser trochanter area of the femoral neck (left side of the picture). It is officially diagnosed as a "femoral neck compression fracture." Had it been a tension fracture on the upper, outer part of the femur, I would have required immediate surgery. Thankfully, I caught it before it spread. Anyway, back to now. I am having pain and mobility issues in the area psoas major muscle with pain shooting up almost to my stomach at some points. My range of motion is severely hindered due to the muscular damage and some issues that we can't pinpoint exactly, with the iliopectineal bursa and iliofemoral ligament of the joint (see right side).
So what does this mean? Well, it means that it is sometimes just about impossible to lift my left leg first to go up stairs, sit for long periods of time, stand for long periods of time and I can't move my leg "out" for adduction exercises.
In summary, I cannot describe how stressed I've been with worrying about where to move, where to finish school, and trying to just make progress with my leg to allow me to start some kind of training. I feel lost without my outlet, my love, of running. It is unbelievably difficult to separate from the military (endless meetings, paperwork, appointments) and mentally exhausting. To the point of making myself sick and not eating. Thankfully, as hard as it is to admit and lean on them, I have a great support system of people who will see me just to listen to me cry over breakfast or the phone since I can't figure it all out.
In the meantime, walking it is! Head up Solider.
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